Selfish Love
I am selfish, I told him.
Why he asked?
I replied, because I love you.
That’s not selfish, he said.
Yes, it is, I told him.
I love you because
I enjoy the feeling of giving you my love, not because I want you to enjoy receiving my love.
I am with you, because I enjoy the feeling of being with you, not because I want you to enjoy being with me.
This to me, is selfish.
I selfishly love you.
Well, then I selfishly love, he said.
Together we can flow, loving ourselves experiencing love, he said.
Okay then, I love Me, loving You.
I told him. Selfish love….
That little girl…. still basking in the Harvest Moon.
Good Moon Setting and Rising Sun!
It’s been a little over three years since I launched this personal blog. I wanted a space on the internet where I can share my thoughts . Recently I have launched this page – Wellness & Spirituality – of my blog to specifically discuss my personal journey walking in my truth. During my early teens, I chose to dedicate my life to not only studying human dis-ease, but understanding it. It is truly a fascinating topic for me, from the whys of religions to the hows of illness. Over the past 20 years as an Epidemiologist, my struggle has always been finding people to support my ideas. Actually, it began at around 13 years old as a freshman in High School. I was a part of a science program at the city university. I was to give a presentation on any scientific topic of choice. Since I was a deeply spiritual youth and too inquisitive to be religious, I sought to bridge the gap of scientific and religious thought of the Big Bang and Creation. Ya’ll, my presentation was the BOMB. I remember it like it was yesterday. I stood in front of the room, feeling great about what I was about to present to the professors and graduate students. Remember, I was a freshman in High School, giving a presentation to the college on a scientific topic. I presented on my theory of time and how we perceive time in the story of creation both in the Bible and Big Bang. My theory that the stories are one in the same and the difference is due to our perception of time. Long story short, the graduate students said it was a stupid idea and I failed. Yes, I didn’t only not receive the college credit as a freshman in High School, I was also told that my idea was stupid. I ran home that day and cried on the sofa telling my mother how stupid the city university was and how much I hate the entire college. I was the only student in the course to fail. That failure has remained in the back of mind as I continue to flow through this journey…I’ll write more about my journey and the many encounters of discouragement I’ve knocked out of the way toward my success.
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Wishing all a Happy Harvest Moon.
Peace,Anasa Laa
Harvest Full Moon – October 2020
Happy Harvest Moon!!!
Full Moon in Aries!
Autumn Equinox! 🍂🍁
First day of October!🎃
Changing Leaves! Fall Foliage!
All that the changing Seasons may bring. I love the changing Seasons! I love the Moon. 🌚
The moon has always fascinated me. One of those mysteries of the night that I feel amazingly connected to. When I cannot find the moon, I search for it in the night’s sky, hoping to catch a glimpse of its glow. I actually have an app. 😆I know part of this obsession with the moon is because I am a Woman. I have often wondered if Men felt a connection to the moon. As a woman, I believe that we are not only spiritually connected to the energy of the moon but also biologically linked. We are aligned to the phases of the moon through our menstrual cycle (aka Moon Cycle). As I grow older in time, I wonder how my relationship with the moon will change once I enter the phase of menopause, that period when my period stops. I guess when that time comes I will experience the shift. Nevertheless, let me remain in the present and feel the gift that the full moon is sharing tonight. I tried to catch a glimpse, but it is raining and cloudy. The moon is nowhere in sight. At least it is not where I am placed on the planet tonight.
Ahhhhhh the full moon energy! It is such a good feeling for me. I know we often read about the full moon as a time of dark energy, werewolves, black cats, and witches. It is described as a time when energies go awry and people lose their minds. However, to the contrary, the full moon energy is one of great power if utilized with care. A time when you can journey within, see yourself, learn about you inner being. Vibrate higher. It is also a great time to perform rituals. It is a time to meditate and detox your thoughts into your journal. I think it is also a time to shine as your authentic self. Walk in your truth. If you look at how the moon cycles it reveals itself, shining full in the spotlight for all to see. Then it slowly retreats until it appears to have disappeared. We can incorporate this cycle into our daily lives by tracking the phases of the moon. A good way to start doing this is to learn about your moon sign. Do you know what your moon sign is? If you do not, just do a quick internet search and let that be the start of your ritual or routine. We tend only to pay attention to our sun sign, but that is only a trinket of your starry. Lol Like how I did that? (Starry instead of story- starry night) OK, I tried to make a funny.😆 Well, look it up and let me know what you think about the moon signs. Are they accurate for you?
Do you have a full moon ritual?
I do not have a set ritual, but I do go within. I remain open to feel and see what is, as revealed by the energy of the full moon. At times, if I were so moved, I would do a tarot reading for myself. I have a wonderful deck of moon oracle cards that I enjoy. I am still learning and it is very intuitive…. I simply flow where the magic leads
Well, I did not intend for this to be a long post. I simply wanted to share some full moon and equinox energy.
Let me know your thoughts about the full moon. How do you feel during the full moon? Does it shift your energy? Do you feel its pull? The ebb and flow, like the waves of the oceans?
Like and Follow Anasa Laa on all social media platforms. Join the Anasa Laa group on Facebook. Let’s chat about the moon. 🌙
It’s my 3rd Blogging Anniversary! (July 2020)
Today is August 1, 2020! Rabbit Rabbit! I was supposed to write this on yesterday, the last day of July 2020. No excuse for not doing so. It wasn’t to be.
Three years ago, I began this journey of blogging. I have always loved to write, but never for the public, unless it was a scientific research article for my day job. I have also written poems and in a journal, since a youth. My mother always said that I should have embarked on the path of being a journalist. I was always curious about photojournalism. Just yesterday, my mother told me that I should write a book. Eh, I am sure a book is in my future, so when that happens, it will happen. This blogger life is my first time expressing my words publicly. I mean, unless social media posts count. LOL This journey has allowed me to share a little of mySelf, my thoughts, and emotions with you, my cyber peeps. I hope you have enjoyed my blog thus far. Thank you! Thank you to all who visits my website, reads my blogs, and just everyone who takes a moment to share space and time. Send me a note and let me know what you think. (Btw, comments do not post on the website directly, just in case you were wondering LOL) If you are interested in my thoughts on various topics, let me know. I always have an opinion and love a good mental flex. Therefore, I hope this new month brings you a wealth of experiences that allow you to look deep within yourself and your journey. Whatever August brings, feel it, write it, and embrace it. Our journey is exactly as it is supposed to be, divinely designed, so allow it to move and shape you. As you flow through it, remember that love is in each moment.
Peace & Love
Take a moment and just Be!
The year 2020 has taken us on a journey, one that we could not have predicted. Can you believe we’re only about six months in? Whew! But, what if this is exactly what we needed to shift? The moment to simply flow with the changes, with the movement, with the energy of this here 2020! We entered this year with affirmations of “New Year, New Me!” or “Living My Best Life” and so many more that I saw circulating the cyber. We’re here now! We are in this new decade and it sure enough has had us flowing through many emotions. I know I have experienced some pulls on my heartstrings and have had my Chakras go awry. Friendships have ended, love has shifted, I’ve read stories of even marriages transitioning to divorce and most of all, many many loved one have been lost. Let’s not even talk about the stars and planets shifting in and out of retrogrades – the energies… so much. However, in it all, I have also developed deeper connections with friends that I’ve known for years and I’m sure some of you have too. There something about – we are all going through this, just not in the same way.
It’s a journey, an interesting flow. We’re living through a global pandemic of a novel strain of a virus that has kept us in our homes for months. A pandemic that has caused many to lose their lives, their breathe just taken away. There have been well over 100,000 deaths in the U.S. alone. This virus – still is no cure or vaccine. Then just as new cases began to slowly decrease, BOOM, a very old virus swept the globe! Presented itself with grandeur and said, “This is going to be addressed NOW.” Racism. The virus that has plagued society for hundreds of years. I am sure I can be safe to say since the beginning of time. People took to the streets risking their health to protest the virus that has been infecting the minds of humans globally. That has been the cause of so many lost lives in my community and others. That I have lived through and experienced my entire life…but this blog post is not meant to go into depths of what we already know. Racism in America. Racism on this Planet is not new. This is not a novel virus. This post is to focus on our wellness. How are we handling this new decade? This new decade that tore the band-aide off with no warning, ripped the stitches out with no anesthesia, and spread a new dis-ease that shed light on an old dis-ease. What has been your wellness journey? Your Self-Care!
Whenever I enter my feelings, I resort back to my yoga, both physically and spiritually. You’re probably wondering what I mean by spiritual yoga. I’ll go into depth in another post. Is it a religion? No. For me yoga is far beyond a religion. It’s a way…. It brings me to awareness. It allows me to become grounded in Self and the way in which I relate to my surroundings and others. It brings me Balance. It guides me in my meditation and allows me to flow through life. I also do shadow work…that is diving deep within mySelf through meditation. In addition, during this new decade, I’ve done some much needed shadow work… that began in December 2019 during the Winter Solstice in Egypt. I embarked on a journey to bring in the new decade, 2020 more conscious and vibrating higher while trusting the journey to unfold as it is supposed to.
My Wellness Journey…
My wellness journey is very important to me. I’m always striving to be a better me. I face challenges and sometimes get stuck, but I always get back on track. Yoga has always been part of my journey. I have practiced physical and spiritual yoga my entire life. My first yoga teacher was my mother. She used to be a dancer and model. We danced and stretched daily, plies, splits and lotus positions. I remember the lotus position because it just resonated with my spirit. Those are some of the fondest memories of my childhood; exercising with my parents and siblings. Exercising as a family. Mommy doing plies and Daddy doing handstands and music pumping all through the house. The funny thing about our quarantining during the pandemic, it brought us back to exercising together just as we did when we all lived in the same house. Oh technology, we watched Zumba on Instagram Live and joined each other via video chat, danced and chatted during an amazing Zumba class that was streaming live from Barcelona. This family exercise time brought us together from Europe to NYC to the DC area. We took the time to just release stress and work up a sweat!
So yes, my wellness routine/self-care journey has included various activities from being in nature, capturing the beauty of Earth through photographs, to spa days, traveling, and consuming some of the best food that Life has to offer. But, 2020 said NOPE, you shall remain still. No traveling, no hiking in nature, or riding your bicycle on trails and no days of pure indulgence in spas or restaurants. Did I mention no travel? Yup, I had to stay home. We all did. The entire World was at a standstill. [Well, not the essentials… thank goodness for the essential few who kept the world functioning during this time.] I was forced to focus solely on what used to be my ‘Night Time Routine”. My mediation and my yoga. I had to build upon the things that I didn’t think of as “wellness” or “self-care” such as cooking and watching the birds. I’ll get into that in another blog.
My routine became bathtub spa days or steaming hot showers (pretending to be in a sauna LOL) at home, yoga, meditation and Zumba in my living room, cooking while sipping wine and writing in my journal. And, watching the birds on my terrace. It actually was a positive shift for me. I had time to cook breakfast and eat at my table rather than at my desk at work. I now was able to Breathe. I could sit in mediation for as long as I wanted, day or night. I could light my incense each morning, or some sage right before I call into my morning meeting for work. It was exactly the shift that I needed. I must say, thank you to the Universe…. Teleworking and quarantining had an amazingly positive impact on my life. Ya’ll, I even lost weight with zero effort! It’s amazing what being able to eat home cooked meals daily can do. Simply stress-free. However, I did end up writing less in my journal as work activities became more demanding. Yes, work can be demanding even if you’re doing so from home. I had some truths revealed to me about a person I held close to my heart, who I cherished and hoped to know and remain connected with for – ever. I don’t know that I ever experienced this level of soul shift before in my life. When that Twin Flame soul tie breaks it can truly take you to a dark place, but my wellness routine allowed me to remain balanced, as did my work. Can’t go drifting into your mind when you have important work to do each day. You have to remain responsible and fully engaged. Be Grounded! I also entered a Yoga Goddess challenge that helped me to shift my Chakras back into alignment. My meditation became deeper and longer. This was true shadow work in complete alignment with the phases of the moon. I meditated on the phases of the moon and sat in silence each evening. In this time, I realized that my home didn’t have an altar. I’ve always had a space that housed my sacred and special items. Where I would burn my candles and lay my crystals. How could I have been living in this space for over three years without my designated sacred space? Well, I fixed that and now I have my meditation space aligned with the moon and my alter. I’m in flow.
Tree Roots in Hawaii 
Pacific Ocean 
Foodie 
Travel Travel Travel 
Mural in Brooklyn, NY 
Heading to the Oshun Festival
Another part of my wellness journey is writing in my journal. This is the most important part of my wellness routine. It allows me to put my many thoughts on paper. Now, this isn’t a themed journal, which has been the popular trend. Not a gratitude journal or one dedicated to manifestation. It is, what I call; an old fashion, jot anything down, diary/journal that you would think of as the norm among teenage girls. I’ve kept a journal since my early teens. It is where I capture the thoughts, which are eagerly trying to exit my mind, especially when I know no one cares to hear them. LOL My thoughts do go on overdrive during my overthinking times. And, like I said, during there are times I just skip my journal writing routine, especially when work is on overload and ridiculously demanding. With social media and this blogging life, I do share some of my captured thoughts. However, most of my thoughts are confined in a journal.
Do you keep a journal?
I believe keeping a journal is the most important part of a wellness routine. It allows the opportunity to release Similar to a detox of the mind, without judgement of the outside world. The only judgement is your own… and well, that’s an entirely different topic. During these six months of 2020, releasing into my journal became a good mental detox. I tried to cleanse my mind when I could. I especially wrote when my thoughts and feelings were on the verge of becoming clogged or cloudy. If you’ve ever experienced a brain fog, you’d understand why this is so important. So, a combination of my physical and spiritual yoga practice, my journal writing and meditation, I’ve been flowing through this here 2020.
If you haven’t started your wellness journey, I hope my short story here, helps you to begin. I also hope you will be moved to start journal writing if it is not a part of your journey. You can begin by following these few steps that have helped me.
- Start by finding a comfortable space in your home to Be.
- Sit in silence for a few minutes and just breathe. Listen to your breathe. Be aware of the silence. Be in the space.
- Then think of the day, week, month that has past and Reflect.
- If that does not resonate, you can also think of the present moment. What are you feeling in the present moment?
- Reflect.
- Sit in the moment, with your thoughts. Remain in this space, listening to silence for as long as you want. It is up to you. It can be 2 minutes or 20 minutes.
- Remember to breathe. Inhale and Exhale.
- Afterwards, write down your thoughts.
- End by sitting in silence again to close out your reflection.
You are the only one who can truly tell your story from your Being! Let me know about your experience embarking on your wellness journey.
When life becomes surreal, recognize the emotions, feel your feelings, write your thoughts, then have some ice cream!!! LOL I love ice cream! Actually, I like all frozen treats! Remember that Love is in each moment!
Peace. Love. Light.
Its 2020…. (Part 1 – April 2020)
It’s about 4 months into the year 2020. I haven’t written a blog post or published a reflection in quite some time. I guess I can say, I’ve been living the journey not just flowing as usual. I’ve been trying to make life happen, yea that’s what I’ll say. Make goals come to fruition. See if love would happen and career will flourish. Well, not all has come to fruition, for whatever reason, but it’s been quite a journey. Where do I start? Hmmm let’s start with the present and look back. Sankofa.
It’s the last day of April 2020 and we, meaning the entire world, is experiencing a pandemic. Yes! A Global Pandemic. An outbreak of a novel strain of the coronavirus family known as SARS-Cov2 is sweeping the planet. Millions are suffering and dying from the disease that it causes, COVID-19. It’s strange. As we know, there are many infectious diseases that kill twice as many, but this is a pandemic – there is no vaccine or treatment. The last pandemic that I can remember was in 2009, H1N1- pandemic influenza. I don’t want to go into details about this experience, that’s not what this blog post is supposed to be about. This post is about Being. It’s about Living. Loving. Achievements and Flow. However, I will say that all we were asked to do was stay home and Be Still as scientists and world leaders try to figure out how to manage the outbreaks. It’s like telling fish to walk on the sidewalk. The lack of care and empathy that I have observed by many is baffling to me. Simple responsibility, is all that is needed by the masses. Nevertheless, I’ve been in my house since mid-March with no desire to go outside until I know more about the virus; until I feel safe. Ain’t nobody trying to get sick! I spread light amongst our healthcare workers and the many in public service jobs, keeping the planet functioning during this time.
Now, to talk about Being, Living, Loving, and Flowing…a lot has happened since I last posted. I don’t think I can go that far back, so I will just start from toward the end of 2019. Every day is still a journey toward being and just becoming more Me. Learning about my heart, my relating to others and just the continued misperception of my character, my personality, and just Me entirely. When I was in college, [haha went way back] I used to always say that “you have to teach people how to treat you”. As I got older, I no longer taught, I thought I had proper judgement. I can say that I expect too much of myself in others. Reflections. But are those you relate to truly reflections of You. Back when I was a young adult, maybe toward the end of high school and throughout college, I used to say that I ‘live without expectations’. Actually, I think that was my thing up until my early 30s. No expectations, No disappointments. Somewhere in my recent years I lost this. I lost my ability to See and Read, when it came to relating to others. I expected people to treat each other properly. With empathy and care. Especially those you consider ‘friend’. I know now, the best way to go along this journey is with clear Sight and very little direct care for others. See. You can care on the larger scale for humanity, want the World and all of its inhabitants to flourish and live a decent life. But, individually, remove that care, remove that empathy. Focus on Self. My belief was, once my cup was overflowing, I can allow that Flow to runoff unto others, especially my Reflections. However, that is not the case. We have to remove the empathy, which is very difficult for me because I am an Empath. I feel… gives a whole new meaning to “I feel you”. I really do. LOL
Anyway, reflecting back on the past year, this was my take away. Not my lesson, because I knew this – just needed to remember. As the last Supermoon of 2020 comes into full form, we should sit in meditation. I wanted to be sure that I got this post published in time for the full moon. Why? Because, this moon is special, a moon of many names, but mainly known as the Flower Moon. I can’t wait to moon gaze. I’m a Lady of the Moon. Take a moment and gaze at the moon. Feel Her energy, absorb Her power. Then before you lay to dream travel, sit in meditation. Doesn’t have to be long at all. Just sit in silence and listen to the noise of your mind, your surrounding, your space. I know some may say meditation is to clear your mind. That is absolute Truth. Meditation is not prayer, in my opinion. You are to be silent. Breathe. Listen. A good practice is beginning your meditation with a set intention. Everyone has their own interpretation of meditation and their own practice. I will share a little of what I do. The best meditation I’ve ever experienced, I travel into my mind. It probably lasted for an hour or so.. in complete silence and in darkness. Maybe have some incense burning, maybe near a window where I can feel the light of the moon at any phase, or maybe on my balcony where the cool night breeze can caress my body. You can also choose your meditation attire. My favorite attire is my skin. My birthday suit, naked with myself, sitting in complete darkness. I like to meditate in the dark. I’m not sure why, but it just feels like the perfect way to meet Me. Now go dive deep within your Self. Go on the Journey, flow with it. You may cry, but you may also laugh… you may even fall asleep. You will definitely meet yourself.
Let me know in the comments how your meditation journey is flowing. This journey is about remembering…. that love is in each moment. More to come…. 2020!
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Just flow with it (December 2018 / January 2019)
It took me a very long time to even think about the transition from one year to the next. This post is very short and pretty much a Happy New Year to those who follow my blog! Time is moving strangely. Best thing to do is just flow with it. Continue to follow where your spirit is going and accept what is divinely for you. I traveled straight into the New Year and I’ve decided to let go and flow. Flow like water, is what I used to say in my youth because what is for you, is for you, divinely crafted.
Falling in place, flowing through travel (October/November 2018)
It took me a while to reflect on the past couple of months. Again, I was simply flowing and enjoying every bit of learning and experiencing that love is in each moment.
The best way to express this reflection is through pictures of my travel. I journeyed to South Africa with friends and family, which was quite an experience. It’s actually difficult to express in words. The saying goes ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’, so why not share some photos to reflect on the past couple of months.
I have so many photos from this journey the past two months. Best way to see is to follow my Instagram page. Like I said, it was an amazing journey to South Africa. You never know where life will take you if you’re open and willing to flow in your Divine Purpose. It’s not always easy to just simply move through life with true intentions, knowing your purpose and simply Being. Once you get there, it’s quite a feeling. I still have a lot of WORK to do to remain in the Flow, but I’m ready, willing and able. That’s all you need to see that love is in each moment.
